the world’s gone mad.
The craving has taken over
the fix is full of cracks.
We don’t know how to stop it
so let’s give up give in let go
Give them free drugs
that will show
them how to
get free from
the pain and the chain
of being a junkie
the fight or flight
the flush and cramps
never left me
I want freedom
I want victory
ALL I WANT
And yet you give me smack but dress it up
as a cure to make you feel better
cos it’s not for me
that’s for sure
I want life I want love I want to soar
I want free from the drugs
and you give me more
so what do you think
I’ll do when you give
me free heroin
I’ll still want another kick
I’m not your pet your project your test or your rest
I’m not here to help you pretend you know best
imprisoned, I’m bound tied up
in the digger
get me out, before I pull the trigger
My life dependant on narcotic frau
and still you think I’m just flawed
freedom, I want I plead listen to ME
I don’t know how but I want to be free
More drugs though the chains
might be glistening and new
is still more drugs, from you
You’re a dealer, a supplier and aid and abetter
worse than that you are an enabler
so change your gaze fix your eyes
let me see, how I can, from the devil dragon
© Stuart Patterson 2019
Glasgow City Council are hoping to open a room in the city that would be used for heroin addicts to take “prescribed” heroin.
The UK government says” no” to the legislation that would allow this. Academics fall over themselves in the battle to fight addiction (actually they have given up in Scotland it seems and want to park them on ‘nicer’ drugs).
I recently did an essay for university on addiction and was astonished to find that academics cannot even agree on a definition.
One study reports that a search on Google Scholar returns 172,100 web pages based on “addiction” and “definition” with very LITTLE consensus on what it means. (Sussman and Sussman, 2011).
In “What causes addiction” (Tackett, 2015) Brittany Tackett refers to three current models of addiction:
• The disease (medical) model – brain changed as a consequence of drug use and require more drugs as part of treatment. (Satel and Lilienfeld, 2014)
• The moral model – addiction was the consequence of those with no will power or moral compass. It is THE folk devil and in the worst cases addicts should be imprisoned as part of treatment. Motivation is key to change in this model, even though it is described as being a symptom of having no motivating power for change. (Gov., 1999)
• The spiritual model – addiction is due to a spiritual void and addict seeks to fill through mind altering substances. Treatment is by submitting to a higher power and seek healing through humility and acceptance. Programmes such as Twelve Steps are key treatments. Again a motivational programmes, albeit with outside help. (Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd, 2019). (Patterson, 2019).
I have to be honest, I do not know if a treatment room would work. It would not have for me. I did Methadone, twice. I did other forms of treatment. It was only when I was introduced to Jesus Christ through the work of Teen Chalenge UK that I felt the prison doors open.
So this poem is from my perspective. I wanted freedom, but I wanted another fix – sometimes in equal measure – sometimes one far more thanthe other.
And that is part of the problem – addiction is looked at as an academic exercise with the addicts themselves always getting in the way of the cute theories.
I was told I was a sinner, that is that I willingly chose to do things my way instead of God’s, and ended up trapped by them, but that Jesus had paid the price for my freedom.
I was then taught how to live a new life based on the love of God and NOT on trying to escape addiction.
This man, (one academic says I don’t know what I’m talking about), has not returned to a life of addiction since 19th May 1997. My breakthrough came when another man prayed for me over a phone.
I was then taught how to embrace the challenges life threw at me, and how to overcome them through God’s Word.
I see that everyone involved in this discussion disagrees with anyone holding a different viewpoint. They all want their way to be right (by the way if that’s you you suffer from confirmation bias, you look only for support for your claim and won’t listen to opposing views), meanwhile people are dying in this enlightened age far more than ever before.
So anyway, feel free to enjoy or not the poem.
This POST is part of a wider collection to show the journey that would eventually lead me to the cross of Jesus Christ, my personal redemption, and my journey of faith afterwards. If you would like to know more of my story, please click on my “About” page and take it from there.
Alternatively, you can visit the Media Links page and see a short visit done by BBC Radio Scotland for an interview I did there.
I have now released an early edition of my story, Completing the Tenner.
I have also published two poem books: Simply Jesus and Five Weeks in May
You can purchase these direct from Amazon (please use Amazon Smile link below and Amazon will contribute to ECC at no cost to you), They are all available in both Kindle and Paperback formats.
Or you can buy directly from me. Email me directly to arrange this.
There is now a devotional aimed at new Christians called “Take a seat“ this is available direct from me.
If you or someone you love, needs help with the Christian response to addiction, or if you would just like to know more or need hope, please click on one of the following:
Teen Challenge Strathclyde
Teen Challenge UK
Teen Challenge Global
Bethany Christian Trust
Jumping Jacks Outreach
Cornerstone Assemblies of God, Maryland
Broken Chains Ayr
Easterhouse Community Church
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2 thoughts on “52 Free (drugs or life)”
Very sadly lost my brother Peter after many years of addiction on his 42nd birthday. As a family,my brother Mark, my sister Geraldine and I supported and loved Peter who replaced heroin with alcohol which killed him
In life, he was robbed of everything by drugs, so at peace now . You may have known him Stuart as my brother Mark is good friend of Neil, your brother. I really enjoy your blogs, thanks, Angie Gordon
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Thank you Angie for sharing. I know Mark and Paddy quite well. I used to hang out with Peter in my teens. A genuinely nice guy.
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